Millennials are so damn strange.
Today a link to a story called “How Sharing Nudes With My Best Friend Is The Best” popped up on my Facebook feed and of course I had to click on it…
Once in a blue moon my friends and I will share photos in our underwear comparing workout progress or maybe showing off a new bra but the thought of randomly sending my bestie a full-blown “platonic nude” has me laughing uncontrollably. Just when I thought we’d reached the pinnacle of closeness, someone comes along and shatters that reality.
Author/musician Eden Rohatensky says her and her friends started sharing nudes after she got drunk and accidentally posted a nip slip video to her Snapchat story. Seven of her female friends replied with nudes of their own, wishing her good luck while she was on the road touring with the Canadian band Firestarter.
How this would go down if I’d posted a nip slip video:
Friends: uhhh your nipple is on Snap.
Me: oh sh*t. I’ll delete it. Thanks!
Friends: no problem, crazy b*tch.
Rohatensky swears that this practice promotes intimacy, trust and body confidence and compares sending nudes to an online hug.
If someone expressed that they were sad, it seemed fitting to send them a nude. Sending a nude requires a certain amount of effort that a regular text doesn’t. You need to find somewhere private. You consider the lighting and the context of the photo a bit more than a regular selfie. Having taken many nudes, I know the effort that my friends are putting in to reach out to me. There’s always a conversation at the beginning that gauges the level of comfort and consent between two friends who are considering sharing nudes.
Maybe I’m just old fashioned but the concept of sending a nude to a sad friend does not compute and I have no idea how it wouldn’t change the nature of our relationship. Is the logic just that t*tties are nice and can therefore be sent in any context as long as the receiver isn’t family? And this trend doesn’t have to be limited to women. Dudes could start doing it to. Increasing dong positivity, pic by pic!
I know when my friends are lonely because they let me know that they’re hanging out at home, bored, and send me a nude. I know when my friends are feeling good about themselves because of how they captioned their nudes. Over time, our poses and knowledge of lighting and facial expressions have evolved. We’ve become more experimental with how we take our nudes and, simultaneously, our increasing comfort with our bodies has become evident through this.
All these years I’ve been doing it wrong, sending fully clothed photos to my friends like a total noob. And I will continue to do so because I’m not an exhibitionist. What if my “friends” misjudge the consent part and start sending nudes I don’t want. And worse, what if they expect me to reciprocate? Unsolicited d*ck pics are difficult enough to deal with without also receiving unsolicited t*t pics from people who are supposed to be my friends.
Platonic nudes are part of a future I don’t want any part of.
Allie and Amanda, if you’re reading this, don’t worry. I currently have no plans to traumatize you in this way and will continue sending nudes to my designated significant other.