‘Conan Exiles’ is a Perverted Gamer’s Dream Come True

Source: twitter.com/screencuisine

Conan Exiles may go down as the horniest, most homoerotic in video game in history.

Basically a playable version of Spartacus, Exiles allows players to customize their character’s naked form, including breast and penis size selection.

For years my equally immature best friend and I have been WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT. Our hope was for a more scandalous, open-world, GTA-style remake of Playboy: The Mansion but this might be just as good.

Gameplay of Conan Exiles is semi irrelevant. All you need to know is that it’s a multiplayer survival adventure game with more d*cks than your average porn.

Via ageofconan.com:

Grow crops or hunt animals for food. Harvest resources to build weapons and tools. Build a shelter to survive. Ride across a vast world and explore alone, or band together with other players to build entire settlements and fortified strongholds that can withstand fierce invasions.

A game for fans of Beavis & Butthead, Howard Stern and Barbarian erotica.

And you don’t have to be naked alone! You can build naked settlements with naked strongholds and naked invasions! And, if at any moment you feel deprived of perversion, there’s a special button dedicated to zooming in on EVERY angle of your character’s genitalia.

A preview version of the game is currently available on the PC, with early access for the Xbox arriving this spring. 

I haven’t been this excited for a game release since BMX XXX.

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