Everyone has a breaking point, and mine is “hot” Pennywise.
With Stephen King’s horror masterpiece’s resurgence, Halloween is about to be all about clown freaks in every city competing to see who can hold red balloons near their local sewer in the most menacing way possible.
Clown families, young clowns, old clowns, busty lady clowns…
That’s right, It is not immune to cross-gender cosplay (aka “crossplay”), with several women already putting themselves out there as salacious versions of Pennywise. I need there to be zero versions of Pennywise besides Tim Curry and Bill Skarsgård because at least they’re locked into a format I can control. Apparently I’m in the minority.
People are actually into the sexy Pennywises (Skarsgård’s Pennywise was rated “clown daddy af” by at least a quarter of Twitter), but erotic Pennywise fan fiction is the real game changer.
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Here’s a little story from Tumblr about what it would be like to date and be impregnated by Pennywise the Dancing Clown:
|Being with Pennywise had its ups and downs, on the one side you had to put up with him eating children, it wouldn’t be the first time you walked in on him scaring a child out of their mind, and on the other side you had great sex and he was actually sweet. But this morning you woke up with an intense sick sensation and before you knew it, you were running to your toilet violently throwing up. Initially you put it down to something you ate but there was something you couldn’t shake off, you were due your period a couple of weeks back and it hadn’t come yet, you had dismissed it prior and said it was stress from work but now you were beginning to panic. No period and now vomiting? Surely you couldn’t be pregnant? You and Pennywise had unprotected sex but he told you he wouldn’t be able to reproduce, after all, he isn’t human.|
In this particular fanfic’s best moment, Pennywise’s pregnant significant other begins having doubts about raising a baby with a child-murdering clown.
|Clutching the test in your hand you made it to the sewers in no time at all, you found Pennywise in his lair scaring a child, normally you let him get on with it but you stopped him, “Penny!” You shout, “We need to talk!”|
He is facing a young screaming boy and says to him, “Excuse me please, one moment.” He then turns to you, “Can’t you see I’m busy, Y/N?” He snapped.
“Let the kid go please, this is serious.” You start crying, tears rolling freely down your cheeks.
“Time to float.” He says to the child as he pushes him into the air joining the rest of the children. “Why so sad?” He asks you.
“Penny, please don’t get mad.” You sob.
He sniffs the air, “I smell fear on you. I never smelt that on you before. You smell so good.”
“Stop it! You told me this wouldn’t happen!” You shout.
“I-I’m…F*CK…I’m pregnant!” You say chucking the pregnancy test at him, watching it bounce off his head and landing on the sewer floor. You close your eyes expecting him to hit you or something; gaining no reaction, you slowly open one eye to see him stood with both his eyes bulging out of their sockets. He was in shock.
When Pennywise’s carnal reaction to eat the fetus is frowned upon by his boo thing, he agrees to let her keep it and raise it while he’s on hiatus from terrorizing Derry.
|“Then keep. Soon, I will be for my sleep and will not be back for 27 years, I will not see the child grow. When I come back, child will be old enough and I won’t want to eat it.”|
You started crying at the thought of having to raise a child single handedly and at the idea of Pennywise not being with you. You hadn’t the first idea on child care and hated the idea of the child only having one parent but he needed his sleep. What had your gotten yourself into?
“You’re scared, Y/N.” Pennywise declared as he put his arm round you. Your quiet sobs echoing throughout the sewer.
Via Pennydaddy @ mister-babado0k.tumblr.com
I may not have been into the cosplay but this fanfic is the greatest thing since Breaking Dawn.
Can’t stop picturing Pennywise singing “Boyfriend.”