Man Arrested For Taking Out The Trash Naked


Crime would be so boring without nudity as an added component.

Take 60-year-old Pensacola native Bobby Hyde, who police received a call about after he made “lewd gestures” towards his neighbors house.

Hyde denied gesturing but admitted to getting drunk and being naked while taking out the trash. His reason? “It was hot outside.” That excuse only works if you’re naked inside the house. Being naked outside doesn’t magically become legal as soon as the temperature rises.

If heat could grant immunity, it’d be like The Purge: c*ck ‘n balls edition. Half of the summer population hiding inside with the blinds down cuddling an air conditioner, the other half rampantly orgying up and down the streets. A blur of human flesh, tearing through neighborhoods like an x-rated version of the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Think about that before you argue that Bobby Hyde shouldn’t have been arrested.

It only takes one.

What’s your favorite non-sexual, naked activity?

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