Man Rendered Shaftless After Getting Penis Stuck In A Bottle For Days


Source: i.enkivillage.com
Source: i.enkivillage.com

Being afraid of going to the doctor vs. not having a penis…doesn’t seem like a very difficult dilemma, does it?

After letting his junk turn completely black because he stuck it in a glass bottle, a 50-year-old British man let his fear of embarrassment defy common sense. A fear that led to him having emergency surgery to have his penis amputated.


So much about this story is disturbing but let’s start with the blackening of the peen.

It was stuck in the bottle for four days. You heard me, FOUR DAYS.

Three days of indecisiveness and then on the fourth he said, “F*ck it, I better get this looked at.” Of course it was too late. By then he’d developed a horrifying case of d**k necrosis, and having it removed was the only viable option.

Here’s an excerpt of the original article:

By the time he reached the hospital – with bottle still attached – the penis had turned black and had started to decay.

According to the Daily Mirror, this is the second known case of a man killing his penis with a bottle in the UK alone.

Four years ago a similar case occurred when a man called Choluteca, stuck his member into a glass bottle.

All these cases of men getting their penises stuck in things has me wondering if women would do the same if their vaginas were more external/appendage-y.

I asked a friend…

Source: Hallie Madenski
Source: Hallie Madenski

She and my girlfriend both said they had too much faith in our gender to believe any of us would get our vajays stuck in things but I have read evidence to the contrary. Evidence in the form of women letting tampons rot inside of them. And that Not Safe With Nikki Glaser episode where she talked about losing a Monistat cap in her vagina for a year.

Losing something in your vagina may be vastly different from watching it rot and die over the course of a few days but it’s still mind-boggling. We’re just as stupid as guys, we’re just not in much danger because our vaginas are miraculously durable.

Source: Jezebel.com
Source: Jezebel.com

Just gonna leave this potato story right here as definitive proof that humankind is doomed.


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